Expectant

"You didn't have to keep it,
wouldn't put you through it
you could have swept it from your life
but you just wouldn't do it...
Oh, you're having my baby..."

So, a number of years ago we saw this hilarious spoof of the above completely ridiculous Paul Anka song (yes, he's Canadian; we CAN blame Canada for this one) by this trio of female comics. It was hilarious...and, so, Kiyomi has been singing this song to me since I've been pregnant. The best part is, she doesn't really ever remember lyrics, so she sings things like, "I wouldn't make you have it, you could have aborted it and swept it under your feet but you want to have my baby...You're having my baby. What a wonderful way to love me love me, baby." Nice.

I'm not allowed to "correct" her either. So, I can't sing it the right way too close to the time she sings her rendition...which, is harder than you might imagine. When someone sings such a ridiculous song, you just want to join in. Well, I do anyway. Unfortunately, what this all boils down to is that I often have this terrible song stuck in my head.

The reality is, pregnancy and childbirth really don't provide the grounds for the best music in the world. I guess "Papa Don't Preach" is fun...ish, but it's just a hard topic to make not extremely cheesy...or sort of depressing, in the event of an unwanted pregnancy. I guess there is some Celine Dion song about it. Yikes. Another Canadian disaster.

Fortunately, I guess this doesn't really require a soundtrack, though I am supposed to be picking relaxing music for the birth. Who knows if I'll even care at the time. What do I pick? Something new agey? How about some gangsta rap? That might amuse the midwives.

It is fun to think about the baby as an actual little person liking music. Our friend's 10 month old spontaneously erupts in this cute and silly little dancy movement when song she likes come on. It's so fascinating that they have preferences so early - taste for certain sounds and rhythms.

Kiyomi is wary of my getting the baby to like music too much (can you like music too much???) because she doesn't want it to get in the way of her being an athlete. She likes to ask the baby through my tummy what kind of sport she wants to play. She takes any kicks or movements as sure signs the child wants to, say, be a soccer star, or take up tennis early. I like to ask Kiyomi what she plans to do if our child is, well, really not gifted in this way. She completely dismisses this possibility. This will be interesting.

For me, I have recently been having strong bouts of concern that the child will just not be healthy, etc. I think that's all I can focus on now. No major deformities please! But, if I'm really honest with myself, I think it would be hard if my child wasn't bright and inquisitive...if she didn't develop, for instance, a love of reading and learning about the world. I mean, I feel like that will pretty naturally happen with us as her parents...but who knows? They are their own little beings.

I suppose parenting is all about loosening up your expectations and really trying to focus on how to raise a child that can find contentment, connection and meaning in their lives. Even if they do it in a way you wouldn't do it. That sounds hard. I mean, "pregnant" means expectant...it's hard to let go of expectations and sort of counter to what pretty much everybody does. Well, maybe we'll be lucky and she'll be a naturally gifted pianist soccer playing kind-hearted future MacArthur-winning genius.

But no pressure, little baby.