Month Three!

At the beginning of last week - the first week of Ila's third month - I read that parents often find the third month to be easier than the preceding two because parents have acclimated and recognize their baby's cues, etc. etc. Well, last week was the hardest week I think we've had. Ila spent the beginning of the week refusing to eat and the second half of the week nursing constantly. As far as cues go, the beginning part of the week I was frantically trying to make out hunger cues - and getting screamed at when I tried to feed her too early. Later in the week, that same crazy shrieking meant that I had not gotten her to breast quickly enough! This behavior culminated in a Sunday afternoon nursing session of about hours - with little nap breaks (napping at the breast for 20 minutes). I guess when you eat substantially less for several days, you have to make it up somehow. Suffice to say, this is not my favorite schedule.

The baby books are of course fallible, as we've been over before, but it's fun to look at those developmental charts. In particular, I can't wait for Ila to grasp objects. She watches things intently, but has not lifted a finger yet. Last year a friend was talking with eager anticipation about when her little three month old would start grabbing things. I recall thinking that it was such a different existence to go from a competent, busy, stressed adult to someone whose excitement comes from whether a baby makes a conscious swipe at some little polka-dotted cow rattle. How funny, I thought, that this was engrossing. At this point, I would even take some aimless swings at objects.

One of my favorite descriptions on one of the developmental charts is how long a baby will clutch a rattle after you've shoved it into their little fists. It didn't really occur to me to force my child to play with her toys. I figured you just let them get to them in their own time. However, I've now seen other references to parents prying open the little newborn claws (I'm sorry, anything with nails that grow that fast are claws) to see if their babies would grip onto the toy. Well, Kiyomi gave it a shot and, I think, the results were predictable.




Another joy of the third month for babies is, of course, sucking on their own hands. Ila can now get her hand to her mouth - based mostly on luck, I think - but then has quite a hard time really getting what she wants out of the experience. Sometimes she gets her index finger wedged up between her gums and her front lip and thereby blocks entry for most of her hand. Then, once she gets her hand in her mouth a little, she tries to lift her head forward to get more of her hand in her mouth rather than just moving her arm towards her face more. Naturally, moving the head jostles the shoulder and arm and, again, results in the hand popping out of the mouth. It's fascinating to realize we were all this helpless - that we had to learn to move our hands to our mouth rather than our mouth to our hands. When she actually does get her hand to her mouth she just frantically licks at it. Anne Lamott's description of her son gnawing on his fist like a lion with a bone always comes to my mind. This past time seems truly satisfying to Ila - in all its slobbery, uncoordinated glory.



The downside of the start of the third month is the dreaded doctor's appointment replete with an array of vaccinations. I personally feel there are vaccines that are incredibly useful and kind of miraculous that we have. Yeah to no more children crippled by polio! Yeah to tiny infant airways opened, functioning and whooping cough free! Yeah to teenagers NOT dying of diphtheria! But, I think we do have a few that seem...well, not entirely necessary at this age. Hep B? What exactly are the odds that my child will be sexually active or sharing needles at this point? Hmmm.

I am, on the other hand, very happy there are vaccine watchdog groups. If anybody doesn't know the story of simian virus 40, look it up. It's scary shit - and many people have been exposed thanks to the old polio vaccine. I guess I don't believe that private, for-profit corporations should regulate themselves...nor do I believe that the "free market" will do that effectively for medicine either. So, we need people making a kerfuffle about any scary, unsafe vaccination practices.

That being said, I was not looking forward to the actual physical act of vaccination for Ila. She was PISSED and scared right after the shots, understandably. I nursed her right after, which was wonderful (thank you boobies!) because she calmed down and went to sleep. She was a bit upset though the rest of the day. And, I have to admit, there was some part of me that thought, all throughout Ila's weird unpredictable moods and cues last week, that the vaccines might have fouled her little systems up - at least temporarily - making her more grumpy and irritable.

The more fun part of the appointment - especially for Kiyomi - was finding out that Ila is in the 90th percentile for both length and weight. I am not sure why this is something to be proud of...but it feels like people are proud of this. I even feel it a little. How this is an achievement, I am not quite sure. I guess I could give Ila props for being a...good grower? Or, my breasts a gold star for nourishing her so well?

She's in the 75th for head circumference... but I can't imagine her head being any bigger. It's already astounding that her head is longer than her thighs and basically as long as her arms. Think about that for a minute. Those are some crazy huge heads babies have! I try to imagine the 25 percent of babies whose heads are bigger! (Well, at least the circumference is bigger...) What kind of crazy pumpkin heads are we talking about???

No, I think I'm going to reserve the gold stars for grabbing at things and neck control. Those are SKILLS I would certainly like to encourage...