My Exalted Jupiter

So, I can't believe how much I hate morning sickness...that lasts all fucking day. It's like being hungry and nauseated all at once. All the time. How stupid is that? I guess I kind of pictured it feeling more like the stomach flu...which is actually worse pain...but it comes in waves. I just feel like I could barf all the time. This is like a higher pitched irritation...buzzing up through my digestive system and lungs into my mouth in the form of saliva...and this constant feeling that I just might, out of the blue, puke. It's weird. And, did I mention, unpleasant? Yeah, I was foolish to say that I can handle the physical pain better than the psychological. Really, I'm terrible at both.

Kiyomi and I were out running errands yesterday. I decided I really had to eat. I wanted New England clam chowder, of all things. After we tried picking something to eat up at Whole Foods with no luck, I landed on the idea of a buffet. So, I forced Kiyomi to go to Sweet Tomatoes. This is not a terrible eating establishment. It is a bit cheesy, I suppose...but mostly it was knowing we'd be hanging with the post-church Sunday lunch crowd. I was truly impressed by the fact that Kiyomi managed to cast aspersions on only a few people. However, I could see the constant, silent judgment in her eyes. She's such a lovable tyrant.

Anyway, a buffet is great. If I can get over the food I will waste, it's kind of amazing. I take a bit of this and that, casting aside the rest of my serving, before finding something that isn't revolting. It was Caesar salad, mac and cheese, potato soup, and a roll. This tarragon mustard tuna pasta salad looked and smelled delicious. I haven't had tuna in years. Still, I put some on my plate. Well, the tyrant scooped it off my plate! I was pretty amused and also thought about aiming a kick at her shins. I guess she thinks she should have some kind of say over what happens to this alien growing inside me.

On a note unrelated to barfy feelings, I had a Vedic astrological chart reading done for me yesterday by my wonderful, lovely yoga and meditation teacher, Natasha. It was totally and completely fun and fascinating. It's different than Western astrology. I guess Vedic astrology is where the planets ACTUALLY were etc. as opposed to some complicated whatever configuring done in other astrologies. This is less interesting than the fact that I have FIVE planets in Capricorn. Interesting. There were a few things that were totally fun and right on. Nothing seemed really wrong, but a few things were sweetly on target.

Today I've been thinking about how much I love SOOO many people in my life. You know, how lucky I feel to be able to find people who are so lovely in the world. I have always believed I've been graced with some really deep capacity to connect with, trust, and really love people. I don't feel like this is because I'm awesome...or that it's related to anything I've done through conscious action. No, I've always felt that it was something that I was lucky to be born with, something that is just a part of my make up, like blue eyes.

I think this with some regularity, but my chart gave me a little explanation of this. So, I guess I have two exalted planets - which means the planets are in the place on the chart that makes them the most potent version of themselves. One of them is Jupiter. It's in Cancer, where it loves to be, apparently. This is supposed to make me very blessed in love, relationships, relating to people, social networking. It feels very true. And, it deepens my belief that it's some kind of grace, not merit, that gives me this quality in my life. I am constantly amazed at the people that I suddenly find in my life who are generous, helpful, and just make me constantly see things in a new light. (God, it's like I'm drunk.) So, I am trying, in my barfy state, to remember how lovely and connected I feel to so many, many wonderful people.